Networking 101: But I'm So AWKWARD.

Yes, I realize that this picture is, in and of itself, awkward.  It's the best I could find, though!  That feisty Google...

I don’t know what it is about our generation, but we are so very, painfully, laughably awkward.  We don’t always know what to say, when we do know what to say it often comes out wrong, and we have a terrible habit of body language that can often communicate: “Hey, you should probably avoid me.  Because I feel uncomfortable.  Or at least, I’d really rather be talking to people who I know instead of talking to you about things that mean nothing.”  Okay so maybe that’s not all of us, but the awkwardness of our generation is no secret!  It’s in movies (Superbad, Bridesmaids), television (The Office, Parks & Recreation) and even literature (I haven’t even read it, but Twilight seems like the ultimate awkward teen tale posturing as a sexy adventurous romance).

The fact that everybody knows we’re awkward is actually to our extreme advantage!  It’s true that self-deprecating humor and sarcasm aren’t always the best route when it comes to networking in professional settings, but I’ve found that embracing the awkward in me goes a long way when it comes to breaking the ice.

So, for this inaugural blog post I have decided to break down two very specific (and very relevant for you young professionals and potential-MBAs) kinds of events where awkwardness can be at your detriment or used to your benefit.

Situation: The Cocktail Party

Aka Umm Is It Really Ok to Drink Here?

Your boss is throwing a cocktail party to celebrate new investors in the company/say farewell to an amazing co-worker/introduce friends of the organization to employees/make you feel awkward.  There are tons of free food & drinks (delicious), a handful of people that you know (your co-workers) and a whole bunch of people you’ve never seen before (Them).  You’d be completely comfortable & in your element, if only your co-workers would stop networking with Them!

You Probably Shouldn’t: Huddle in the corner, clutching your glass of merlot for dear life, praying that your work husband/wife will save you from having to meet anyone new.  This strategy generally leads to an unnecessarily early exit, and for those of you with jobs where larger networks = potential partnerships (read: $$$), this also leads to you giving yourself the shaft in the long-term.

You Should Try: Talking to people you don’t know!  Okay, I know that this is SO MUCH easier said than done, but trust me, pushing yourself into conversations absolutely gives you the upper hand, as you can set the tone and direction of the conversation.  If you’re nervous about this tactic, grab a wing[wo]man to back you up, travel from convo to convo introducing yourselves.  This is a great way to easily talk about projects you’re working on that may be of interest to the people you’re meeting, can generate questions and, worst comes to worst, you’ll have someone to fill in those awkward conversation gaps!  If you’re brave, [pretend to] be a social butterfly by yourself.  Still go from conversation to conversation, but instead of hovering where people can see you until they eventually do (or do not!) acknowledge you, just step right in, proclaim “Hey, don’t mean to interrupt, but I wanted to introduce myself!”  People are generally very generous about incorporating new people into their conversations- and often not everyone in the circle will know each other.  Half of the time people are grasping at conversation straws; so you never know- you could be their small-talk savior!


Oh- and if you're 21 or older, you can totally drink at these events, and don't feel pressured to not.  True, it depends on the culture of your organization, but if they've set up an open bar feel free to grab a glass.  Be mindful of your personal limits, but don't censor yourself- an important part of relationship building is being as much of your authentic self as possible- this way new people can find a real connection to you, making them more likely to remember you & be a resource down the line!

Situation: Professional Networking Event

Aka I Don’t Know Any Of You, and I Could Be At My Desk Working on XYZ Right Now...

You've been volunteered to attend Conference X about current industry hot-topic Y.  You're the only representative from your organization, and your team has stressed to you the importance of the networking event at the end of the conference, urging to to make as many connections as you can, despite the fact that you're horribly, painfully awkward in exactly these kinds of situations.

You Probably Shouldn’t: Hover around, absentmindedly handing your business card to whoever will take it, particularly at events that feature booths (career expos/industry events), or asking the same generic questions to every person you meet, finding some excuse to remove yourself from the conversation as soon as possible.  Yes, these tactics can get you into a lot of conversations- but they’re generally a lot of awkward, useless conversations that lead to fruitless (or no) relationships.

You Should Try: Coming prepared.  Yes, it’s annoying to think that you have to prep for a networking event, but that’s the name of the game.  For each of these kinds of events that I’m going to, I try to think up 3-5 blank slate questions to ask to each person that I meet.  I know- that is 100% contradictory to what I said in You Probably Shouldn’t, but what I’m proposing is that, instead of asking the same exact questions, you have an idea of a conversation arc, adjusting the topic and scope to fit the individual with whom you’re speaking.

Here are some basic questions that I keep in the back of my mind for general networking scenarios- keep in mind that I always adjust these, making them appropriate for new situations.  I haven’t included the standard “where do you work,” “where are you based,” etc. - but these are still my go to’s!

• What project are you really excited about right now?
• Tell me a little more about your path- how did you find yourself with ____?
• Any cool things on the horizon for [whatever organization they work with] that you can tell me about?

In general, your best bet is to just embrace who you are.  It’s OK to be shy, it’s OK to be awkward and it’s OK to not know how to handle every potential networking situation.  Often you can make a little joke to that effect - it helps break the ice and often prompts others (especially peers) to confide in you about their own feelings re: networking, and tends to form a bond that feels more natural and organic.

Now go out there and network up a storm!  Got questions?   Leave a comment or email me at gobrittgo@gmail.com!